Wind and Stone
by Confessed4Life
Summary: After the rifts are sealed, Richard and Kahlan try to begin their life together, but are quickly faced with obstacle from their past and a mistake that may not be forgiven.
1. Chapter 1

Pushing open the door, Richard stepped into their room, doing his best to be as quiet as possible. Since they returned from sealing the rifts, Kahlan had been kept busy with the duties of Mother Confessor and rarely found the chance to sleep. Stopping at the foot of the bed, he looked down at her with a smile. She had taken favor to one of his old shirts, wearing it almost every night. It looked better on her, though, she rarely was able to wear it very long. The blanket barely covered her, giving him more than a small peak at her soft, pale skin.

Being nearly completely silent, he took off his boots and hung his sword on the back of the wooden rocking chair that sat on the left side of the window. Pulling his shirt over his head, he looked back to her with a smile. Removing his pants, he made his way back to the bed and slowly climbed in beneath the blankets. She sensed him next to her and moved closer, bringing her arm over his chest. The feel of her hand against his skin brought a low moan from deep within him. One touch from her always had him weakened.

Instantly, he ran his left hand up her arm, pushing slightly until she was lying on her back again beside him. Lifting the bottom of the shirt, he slid his long, thick fingers beneath the fabric. Her body instantly responded to his touch. Turning her head, she released a soft moan as his hand journeyed north. Moving slowly, he brought his head to her stomach and lowered his lips to her skin. Her back lifted from the bed, pushing against his kiss as his lips moved over her.

Tossing a leg over hers, he held himself above her as he continued. The kisses quickened as he began to lose himself in the taste of her skin. He stopped kissing her stomach at once as her fingers slipped into his hair. Lifting his head, he looked up and met her eyes. She was smiling at him like she usually did, waiting for him to continue. Laying her hand over his, she held it to her breast and pushed up against it with a soft moan.

Slowly, Richard moved from her stomach and brought his face to hers, pulling his hand from beneath her shirt. "I'm sorry."

Leaning up, she gave him a quick kiss and grinned. "You should be. You didn't wake me."

"You haven't slept much."

Her smile widened as she held back a laugh. "So you thought you could have your way with me while I slept?"

"I didn't mean to go that far."

Rolling over him, she pulled the blue shirt over her head and tossed it onto the floor. Pushing her fingers back through her hair, she moved a few strands out of her face and looked down at him. His eyes were moving over her body, making his heart race faster and faster as she shifted above him. Reaching up, he ran his hands up her sides and over to her chest and was instantly rewarded with a low moan released from her soft lips. Her body ached for his, desperate for more attention as she slowly rocked against him. He knew all too well what would she desired.

Moving quickly, he tossed her onto the bed and crawled on top of her. His lips covered her body, moving slowly as he pushed his tongue out to take a deeper taste. It had been so long since they had been this way, taking each other with such hunger and need. Pushing up against him, she panted, her heart racing so fast that every few moments she needed to gasp for air. His hands grazed her flesh, rarely remaining in one spot for very long. Her body was always an open field for him and he made sure to take advantage of their time together.

Kissing his way back to her lips, he began pressing his body against hers for brief seconds. Each time was enough to cause her to moan out in protest of him leaving her. She had already been aching wildly for him and he knew what to give her to set her body on a fiery frenzy of desire. If he didn't take her soon, she would go mad. As their lips connected again, she rushed her hand between them and took hold of him. She was determined to make him as impatient as she was. One touch from her hand and he pulled back, his whole body shaking in need.

His head jerked back as he thrust against her with a moan. She was teasing him and it was too much. Her legs wrapped around his hips as he pulled her hand away, neither willing to waste another moment apart. The next few minutes were almost a complete blur of kisses, scratches, thrusts and moans. Their bodies heated the room, the sweat beading down their backs as they rolled over each other to gain another moment of pleasure. The night was perfect.

Lifting her head from his arm, Kahlan gave a soft laugh at their surroundings. Not long before, they had fallen from the bed, but were too consumed in passion to stop. It had been many months since they had lost control like that. Richard lay on his back beside her, panting viciously with his eyes closed though she could see the smile on his lips. This was the way they wanted it to be and sometimes they had found a way to make it possible, but as more time passed, it became clear that their lives wouldn't be as they dreamed.

It never stopped them from trying, of course. When he was needed at the People's Palace, he always did his best to work quickly and rush back to her arms. Kahlan had, most recently, been sent out to the outer villages and cities for confessions and other duties the council had thought of, giving them a brief night together when they would sneak away. It happened so rarely and their duties had multiplied so frequently that a glimpse of the other was cherished.

Turning his head, he stared at her with a wide grin. Her hair was around her face, framing it perfectly. Her beauty always made his breath hitch and seeing her in this way, like no other, made his breath stop completely. Her laugh echoed around them as she rubbed her hands against the floor. He loved her smile; it was something he never saw enough of. Rolling onto his side, he held his head up with the palm of his hand while his elbow pushed into the wooden floor.

"I don't remember the wood feeling like this," she said with a childish grin. "It's smooth."

Shaking his head, he laughed softly. "I sanded it."

Pausing her movements, she shifted her eyes to him and widened her smile. "You sanded it?"

"I wanted to make it more comfortable."

"The floor?"

Laying his left hand on her back, he traced his fingers along her spine and leaned in close. "We spent a lot of time down here."

Moving closer to him, she pushed her forehead against his and nodded. "You kept insisting we move back to the bed."

Giving her a quick kiss, he pulled back and brought her into his arms. "We never left this spot." He sighed and closed his eyes, tightening his arms around her. "Two nights later, Cara and I left for the People's Palace."

"Mmm, I remember. It was the first time we used the Journey Books that Zedd had given us."

"I never had it out of my hand."

Lifting her head, she raised an eyebrow. "I would hope not." Her head tilted as she thought, her smile fading for a moment. "Cara read it, didn't she?"

"Only a page or two," he answered quickly. "I didn't know she was standing behind me." Laughing, he brushed his fingers through the side of her hair. "She was very surprised by the books contents."

Nodding, she returned her head to his chest and sighed. "Now it makes sense. When you returned she told me- She gave me some surprising advice."

"She did?" he asked curiously.

"I didn't take it," she answered his unasked question.

Moving beneath her, he waited for her to continue, but she didn't. "Why not?"

Once again, she lifted her head and looked down at him. "Do you wish I had?"

"No," he said quickly. "But I am curious."

"Are your curious as to what it was or why I didn't do it?"

He smiled. "Both, but I think I already know why you didn't do it."

"Why?"

"Because it wasn't you."

"It could be," she countered softly.

His eyebrows furrowed at her words. "Why? Kahlan, you don't have to- You don't need anyone's advice. Trust me."

"You may change your mind when I tell you what she said."

Bringing her back to his chest, he hugged her tightly. "I don't want to know anymore. I love what we have and what we do. I wouldn't want it- I don't want you any other way."

Moving from his hold, she hooked some of her hair behind her ear, trying to keep it from her face as she sat up. He was watching her carefully; the feel of his eyes on her was something she never missed. Taking a moment, Kahlan thought about their friend's advice and if she should take it. The man lying beside her may not realize what he was missing. Looking down at him, she took a deep breath, readying herself for what she had decided to do.

"Have you never wished- Wanted something different?"

Shaking his head, he grabbed her hand and kept it from moving over his chest. He could see her thoughts and didn't want her to continue. "Have you?"

"Not when we're together," she admitted quietly. He grinned widely, surprising her. "What?"

Sitting up, Richard pulled her back against his chest and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Why Mother Confessor, are you saying that when we're not together, you imagine us-" With reddened cheeks, she pushed her elbow into his stomach, softly bringing his sentence to a stop. Brushing his nose against her neck, he whispered heavily. "What do I do to you?"

His warm breath made her body quiver in anticipation of what would come next. His hands were moving over her slowly and she was a few moments away from losing herself completely. "Richard, please..." she moaned. Her hands were over his, helping him along quickly.

Kissing the back of her shoulder, he pulled her harder against him while his hands broke free of hers. They moved skillfully over her, bringing a long line of moans and gasps that seemed to never end. "Show me what I do to you," he whispered softly, knowing that she was no longer thinking.

Releasing a soft whimper, she turned rapidly and crawled over him. With her right hand against his chest, she pushed until his back was against the ground. Carefully, he reached up and pushed her hair over her shoulder, giving himself full view of her beautiful form. She didn't give him long to admire her before she leaned down and began to kiss his chest. Closing his eyes, he relaxed his body as she continued and held his arms still to the floor.

Her tongue moved over him slowly, taking the time to fully taste him. Releasing his arms, she met his eyes, silently telling him not to move them. To remove the temptation to touch her, he folded his arms beneath his head and closed his eyes. Her hands moved over his chest and stomach, following her lips as his moans grew louder. He bucked against her, hitting her chest as her kisses slowed and remained against him longer. Her name left his lips in surprise and pleasure as her lips wrapped around him.

He wanted to reach to her, but didn't know what to do. If he stopped her, she would think that he didn't enjoy it and if he didn't stop her, she would believe that he wasn't happy with what they had. There was no winning in this moment. Reluctantly, he grabbed her shoulder and pulled her over him. He didn't open his eyes; he wanted to catch his breath first. She was staring down at him and he could imagine the look on her face. The impatience and fear practically bleeding through his eyelids.

"Kahlan..." he whispered breathlessly. "I-"

Pushing out of his arms, she moved away from him and sat up. "It's all right, I understand." Quickly, she got to her feet and crawled onto the bed. Laying down, she rolled to face the door, knowing that he would be laying down beside her soon.

He remained still for a few minutes unsure as to what to give her. His body was still on edge and he was beginning to regret pulling her from him. Sitting up, he looked at her on the bed, the blanket laying just above her hips while her hair covered her back.

"I love what we have Kahlan." She remained silent, but he knew she was still awake. Standing, he grabbed his pants and began to dress himself for a distraction. Turning back to the bed, he hoped to see her face, but she hadn't granted his wish. "I need to walk."

She didn't budge as he walked to the door, he didn't expect her to. It wasn't often, but there were times they went without speaking. He only hoped that it wouldn't last long.


	2. Chapter 2

He was scheduled to spend a few days within the city, hearing from the people, but he didn't want to leave things the way they were with his wife. If he were to leave, she would have time to think and knowing the Confessor, her thoughts would go into overdrive. He didn't want to put her through it. She was in one meeting after another, never being left alone long enough for him to speak to her. As time passed, he began to fear it would be too late. Losing her was his greatest fear.

Cara followed him around as she usually did, but was even more annoyed. He had confronted her about what she had told Kahlan, but when she responded, it was not what he had expected. The actions she had preformed the night before had not been suggested by their friend, they were thoughts of her own. The revelation made it all much harder.

Unable to keep from her any longer, he hurried down the hall, looking over his shoulder to his friend as he told her not to follow him. Pushing open the large, heavy door of the Meeting Hall, Richard rushed inside and demanded to be given a few minutes with his wife. Kahlan had stood up in a panic, instantly motioning the others out as he approached her. He never interrupted one of her meetings; something had to be wrong. As the door closed behind him, the Seeker reached for her hands and pulled her close, intensifying the worried look on her face.

As she began to question him, he crashed his lips against hers and kissed her with everything he had. The passion and fire instantly taking over as he pushed her back against the long; detailed table. She went willingly, nearly forgetting where they were and that they had been fighting before. Lifting the bottom of her dress, he ran his hands ever so slowly over her thighs until she tried to guide him onward. Moving back, he pulled her off of the table and roughly turned her around. Pressing his chest down against her back, he reached around her and gently caressed her breasts.

She let out a low moan and pushed into him, trying to get him to stop teasing her. Suddenly, he had her laying forward on the table, her cheek rubbing against the smooth wood as he pushed against her. She didn't struggle against him and she now knew what he was doing. Her dress was twisted around her legs, restricting her movements as he remained against her. His chest still pressed to her back as his lips snuck contact with her cheek and neck. Pulling back, he lifted her up by the back of her dress and turned her to face him.

Her face was flush as she met his desire filled eyes. Untying his pants, he took a few steps away and motioned for her to follow him. She complied instantly, her arousal taking control of her as she watched him sit in her chair. She stood before him and waited, waited for him to tell her what to do and ease her curiously racing mind. Motioning to her with his fingers, he beckoned her to step closer so he could touch her. Grabbing her dress, he began to lift it from the ground, bunching it tightly as it became shorter.

Sliding his hands beneath the fabric, Richard eased his hands over her and pulled until she was forced to crawl onto his lap. Once she was straddling him, he began to unlace the top of her dress, ignoring her movements as she struggled to get comfortable in the chair. As her dress loosened, he began kissing her chest, sliding his tongue along the edge of her corset to bring out the moan he knew she would release. It took all of her effort to keep from pushing forward and rock against him until he could take no more and ended her torment. She was on fire and on the edge, each time his lips connected with her skin, she moaned louder.

Taking hold of her hips, he yanked her against him, giving her a small portion of what she needed. His body throbbed beneath her, aching for connection; for release. Guiding her down onto him, he pushed his head back into her chair with a moan. His hold on her hips tightened as he thrust into her. He was rougher than he had intended, but she didn't seem to mind. From the way she clawed at his shoulders, neck and chest, he was sure she liked it.

They finished together with power, the Confessor bending back to intensify the pleasure. Her body quivered above him, her muscles suddenly weary and unable to move. Opening her still darkened eyes, she met his and the world stilled. Releasing her, he laid his hands on the end of the chair arms and looked up at her.

"You made your point," she said softly as she started to move off of him.

Grabbing her arms, he held her above him and sighed. "I didn't have a point to make, Kahlan. I did this morning, but not after I spoke to Cara." She worked harder to get out of his grasp, embarrassed that he had spoken to their friend. "Why didn't you say something?" She remained silent, but didn't look away. Part of her wished that he already knew what was on her mind. "You can talk to me Kahlan, about anything."

Shaking her head, she relaxed above him and slouched her shoulders. "Do you remember how we were before?" she asked softly, already knowing the answer. "I- I wanted it back."

"Me too," he said quickly.

"I thought that if we- I hoped that it wouldn't hurt so much."

"Hurt?"

Closing her eyes, she lowered her head. "It's nothing," she breathed out in an attempt to make him believe her.

"It's not nothing. Kahlan, I know you."

"It's silly." Moving off of him, she stood and began re-lacing her dress. "I know that it's not true, but I... I can't seem to stop thinking about it."

"Thinking about what?"

"It was a joke," she said quietly, taking a few steps away from him as she turned around to face the door. "You and Cara had returned the night before. We hadn't seen each other in two months and..."

"They knew we didn't make love because your magic wasn't released."

"Mmm," she responded absentmindedly.

Standing, he started to walk toward her, but stopped himself. He didn't want to say what he was about to while being so close. "They said that I had been with Cara, didn't they? Because it would be the Rahl way, taking the Mord'Sith for their pleasure." The Seeker suddenly felt angry, but pushed it down as she turned toward him.

"I told you it was silly."

"Then why are you letting it hurt you?"

Licking her lips, she took a step forward. "You didn't wake me. I wouldn't have known you were back had I not seen the blanket on the floor."

"Kahlan-"

"After a week of traveling, you slept on the floor and what's makes me feel worse, I didn't think anything of it until that night when I saw you again."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I know it's nothing and I didn't want to upset you, but-"

"You couldn't keep your mind from it."

She looked away from him as she nodded, taking an extra moment to think. "I imagined it all so differently and then I realized how mad it was."

"I was never with her, Kahlan."

"I know, but you weren't with me either."

Realization filled him as he met her eyes. "That's not what this is all about is it?" He didn't wait for her to respond, he didn't have to. "You needed me and I wasn't there for you. Kahlan, what happened?"

"Ari arrived."

His heart stopped at the mention of the other man's name. Ari was the Lord of a small city at the border of Aydindril; he was the man chosen to be taken as her mate. When they returned after sealing the rifts, the council had put up a small fight at the marital union between the Mother Confessor and Lord Rahl. Bringing in another man, even after their marriage, was something he would not overlook. Now, the statement about him and Cara made complete sense. The council had wanted to justify a reason for her to take Ari to her bed and they knew her love for her husband would stop her.

Stepping in close to her, Richard took in a deep breath. "What did they do when you declined?"

Kahlan shook her head, giving him a small smile. "What could they do? I didn't take Ari as my mate, I married you and I told them that I wasn't going to betray you. I had him sent home that afternoon."

"They couldn't have been very happy."

Nodding, she stepped back and looked to the door to make sure they were still alone. "No, but it was not their decision to make for me." With another step backward, she looked at him. "I woke up the next morning to you sleeping on the floor."

"Do you want to know why I didn't wake you? Kahlan, when I'm away from you, I- If I had made love to you, I never would have been able to..." Embarrassed, he turned away and pushed his fingers through his hair. "I hadn't seen you in so long that one look at you nearly ended me. I didn't want to disappoint you." Looking back, he stared at her hands as she folded her fingers before her. "Last night, I felt the same way I did the night you spoke of. The sight of you, at all times, makes me weak. I wasn't going to wake you last night either, but suddenly, I couldn't stop myself. One moment I was at the foot of the bed and the next, I could pull away."

She smiled and moved in close to him, resting her hands against his chest. "You didn't disappoint me." The sound of her voice made his body shiver with need. The amount of seductiveness she managed to pack into the sentence overwhelmed him.

Her eyes darkened as she looked into his, making his heart race, the arousal within her as evident as his. Sliding her hands down to the top of his pants, Kahlan pulled at the laces he had loosely tied before. Each time he went to kiss her, she pulled her head back, biting her bottom lip to keep herself from giving in. He held her to the edge of madness before; now she was going to return the favor. Abandoning the pants, she grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head. Running her hands over his chest, she fueled his desire with a deep, slow kiss that sucked the oxygen from his lungs.

Moving to the ground she laid over him, her body pressed firmly against his as he struggled to move his hands over her. Just as she had done the night before, she began kissing her way down his neck, chest and stomach. His body ached for more; desperate for the release she would give him. She held nothing back, doing her best to give the most pleasure possible with each kiss, bite and lick. His moans guided her this time; he was no longer trying to hold back as he had done the night before. His fingers dug into her hair, softly massaging her scalp as she continued lower.

His gasp and moan echoed throughout the large room as she held open the top of his pants. He bucked up instantly, unable to keep still as her mouth surrounded him. Time slowed and suddenly, he found himself panting her name in warning. Unable to keep still any longer, he pulled her to him as he sat forward. Her legs wrapped around him instantly while he lifted her dress. They couldn't keep their lips connected as they moved, their bodies rocking and thrusting roughly against the other.

The stone room filled with their sound of ecstasy, vibrating the walls around them as they slowed in each other's arms. He was holding onto her hips tightly, unwilling to lose contact with her. She was shaking above him, her body completely weakened from the double release of her magic. It was almost how it used to be, when they had first married. There had been times when she wouldn't be able to move and he held her tightly against him. It felt similar in this moment, reminding him just how much he missed it.

Bringing his hands to her face, he met her eyes and grinned. "How long do you think we have before someone comes in for you?"

Smiling, she shook her head, bringing her hands to his. "They won't, but we should find a place more private."

"What could be more private than this grand-"

"A room with a lock on the door," she interrupted seductively.

Moving slowly, she pulled herself from him with a low moan of discontent as he slipped from her warmth. She didn't stand like he thought she was going to, instead, she reached for his clothes. She grew impatient as he dressed himself, the disappearing view of his skin making her want to rip it from him. Coming to his feet, he reached down his hand to help her up, a wide smile plastered on his face.

"Will you accompany me to our bedroom?"

Taking his hand, Kahlan stood up slowly, being sure to move slowly as her body was not yet recovered from the release of her magic. He knew all too well her temporary fragile state. He made it easy for her by moving to help hold most of her weight until she was able to stand on her own. He loved feeling like she needed him and being able to be there for her, made it feel so much better. He knew that she hated the weakness, but to him, that's not what it was. There were times when she tried to pretend that it wasn't so bad, but he could always see through it, feeling it within himself as well.

Walking towards the door, he stopped and turned towards her, waiting for her to bring her eyes to his. "I don't want to go back to the People's Palace," he said quietly. "I don't want to leave you again."

Turning, she brought her hands on his chest, smoothing his shirt gently. "Leaving is a part of who we are."

"Does it had to be?" he asked. "I don't want to be like this. Kahlan we barely speak anymore and I- I hate being away from you. After last night, I don't want to hurt you again."

"This is who we are, Richard."

"I can't accept that. Kahlan, we're more than this."

Smiling, she nodded and lowered her hands and took his. "You're right."

Slowly, she leaned into the door and opened it. She had agreed with him; there was no need for more words. They walked out of the Meeting Hall slowly, ignoring the looks and stares by the servants and few council members who had lingered around. The love of the couple was something they had never heard of before and the people of the cities made sure to catch a glimpse. Neither minded, of course, it was entirely new to them too. At times, Kahlan found herself wondering if she would wake up one day.


	3. Chapter 3

Entering their bedroom, she walked instantly across to the window and looked out at the busy people who went on with their day. "Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be one of them." He knew where she was leading him, but he didn't stop her. A part of him wanted her to continue. "My sister can handle things here." She turned to him slowly, taking an extra breath. "I can go with you-"

It all flooded into him in an instant, his selfishness and error. Shaking his head, he took a step forward and sighed. "This is where you belong, Kahlan. It's who you are; who you were born to be."

"Dennee can-"

"She's not you. This is where you're meant to be-"

Looking back to the window, she shook her head. "Any Confessor can do what I do, but only you can rule D'Hara."

"It's not who I am, Kahlan and if I go back again, what we have- Look what's happened to us. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't," she whispered, bringing her gaze back to his. "You can't."

"Then why does it feel like you're slipping away?"

With a small smile, Kahlan removed all distance between them. "That's because you're standing too far away. You won't lose me Richard, I promise. I can go with you-"

"No, I won't let you-"

"I wasn't asking," she interrupted. "I've been thinking about it for some time now. You're not happy here and I-"

"Yes, I am."

Walking away from him, she walked to their wardrobe and opened it, relieving his things. "You never unpacked." Closing the door, she looked around the room. "There is nothing in here that belongs to you." He searched the room quickly, trying to find something of his that wasn't on to his body. "Nothing."

Looking at her, he shrugged his shoulders, not knowing exactly what to say to her. "Kahlan," he started before she shook her head. The way he spoke her name told her everything she needed to know and she didn't want him to say it aloud.

"You don't want me to go with you, but you don't want to be here. Maybe you were right."

His face floated through a series of emotions before settling on a cross between fear and confusion. "What are you saying?"

Shaking her head slowly, she sighed. "Maybe we should be worried about us."

He walked to her previous position by the window and looked outside. "It's not that I don't like it here," he said over his shoulder. "This is your home, not mine."

"Then why do you return?"

He turned around to face her, hurt that she had asked. When he saw her face, he suddenly understood why she had. "I come back for you."

"Do you?" she asked softly.

Without hesitation, he rushed over and took her cheeks in his hands. "Yes. Kahlan, I- I come here for you, because one look at you and I'm reminded why I breathe. I return because without you, everything I am, is meaningless."

"Richard, don't-"

"You are my home, Kahlan."

Pushing him away, she began walking to the door. She stopped as she took hold of the doorknob and looked over her shoulder at him. "You shouldn't lie to a Confessor." Opening the door, she held back a heavy steam of tears. "You should go back to the People's Palace."

******

"You're going to freeze, dear one." Zedd's soft voice pulled the Mother Confessor from her thoughts. "I haven't seen you here in some time."

"I had lost the need to come." Sitting down on the bench beside her, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I was wrong, Zedd."

"What about?"

Looking at him, she deepened her frown. "Everything. I thought that he needed time." The wizard's face remained confused as he stared at her, waiting for her to explain. "Richard didn't tell you?"

"No."

Turning her head away, she focused her attention on their surroundings. They were on the other side of the luscious garden, a small opening before the forest that was filled with stone structures. Some of the sculptures were remarkably detailed, sometimes making it impossible for her take her eyes off of them.

"I hoped they could give me some guidance," she whispered as she turned her head slightly to the right. The stone carving of her mother towered over them with a peaceful look that the wizard had only seen on Kahlan's face when she was with her husband. "He's not happy, Zedd."

"I'm sure he-"

"He left," she whispered softly. "He's gone back to the People's palace."

"He'll return."

"He took all of his things. He's not coming back. Why would he?" she asked as she moved to her feet and stepped to the stone sculpture of her mother. "There is nothing for him here."

"You're here," the wizard offered.

Looking at the older man, she shook her head and let a few tears fall down her cheeks. "He told me I was his home and I wanted, so badly, to believe him, but I'm a Confessor." Zedd was surprised by her words, having thought that the couple was happy. "I lost him."

"Then why are you here?"

Wiping her tears, she tried to compose herself. "I told him I would go with him. Dennee can take care of things here and we wouldn't have to return, but, he- We've lost everything."

"You told him you would give up your title?"

"I would give up everything," she whispered. "He said this was who I am and I had just started to believe that I wasn't what my title claimed me to be, not with him." Meeting his grey eyes, she let herself go. "What kind of woman can't make her husband happy?"

At last, the wizard came to his feet and pulled her into his arms. He had no words to comfort her and in this moment, he wasn't sure anything would. Kahlan grabbed his robes, using him to help stable herself as she cried. Her body ached in a way it had never done before and no matter how tightly he held her, she felt like she was going to fly away. She hated herself for pushing him to come to Aydindril; for marrying him when she knew how different it would make his life. She had been selfish and now he was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

"Stop staring at me," Richard ordered his friend. They had been riding for nearly for two hours and they had already left the city and his mood hadn't improved. "It's already done, Cara. She wanted me to go, she- I can't hurt her anymore."

"To keep from hurting her, you left?"

"I looked her in the eyes and I lied to her. I hoped that it would be true, but when I said it, I knew that it wasn't. We both knew. I've never seen that look in her eyes before. I hurt her and I can't do that to her again."

Rolling her eyes, the Mord'Sith slowed her horse. "You've lied to her before-"

"I told her she was my home." His friend now understood why he was so upset. "When I'm with her, I- It's not the way it was before."

"Richard!" Her voice grabbed his attention at once, bringing a smile to his face as he looked for her in the crowd around them. "They said I would be able to find you here."

Dropping to the ground, he pulled her into his arms with a soft laugh. "Anna." Pulling back, he grinned widely. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you. You never came back home."

The sound of the word "home" was comforting when she said it, easing him further into comfort. "I have been needed here," he said as motioned to the Mord'Sith. "Cara, this is Anna, an old friend of mine."

His blonde friend smirked. "I'm sure."

"I'm going to stay with her for a while, you can go ahead and-"

"I can't leave you without protection."

"I'll be fine, we're going to stay in the city."

"And if Kahlan comes looking for you?"

"She won't." Cara raised an eyebrow and remained still. "That's an order." Rolling her eyes, she gave a quick nod and rode away. Once she was out of sight, she would double back to keep an eye on him. Turning his attention back to his other friend, he motioned out arm to the right. "There's a tavern over here, we'll be able to talk there."

***

He had gone through four mugs in an hour, laughing as they recounted events from their past. It had been a while since he had felt this way and he didn't want it end. Raising his hand for another drink, he leaned forward with a widening smile.

"He chased us to the creek before he realized he wouldn't be able to catch us," Richard said before reaching for his fresh mead. "How long are you staying?"

"I hadn't decided. I've always wanted to see new places, so I thought now would be the perfect time."

Nodding his head, he looked around them. "The city's great, but you should see some of the outer towns."

Tilting her head, she leaned forward, twirling a few strands of hair around the index finger of her right hand. "You can show me where you live."

Coming to his feet, he held out his arm for her to take, grinning widely. "We're going to need to get you a horse."

***

"You live here?" Anna asked as they entered the People's Palace.

Nodding, Richard hurried out ahead of her and stretched out his arms. "I do."

Coming in close to him, she brought her hands to his chest and smiled seductively. "Care to give me a tour?"

"I think we can manage a quick one."

The brunette clung to his arm as they walked down each hall, leaning on him as a way to get closer to him. Her hands constantly moved over his back and chest, finding small reasons to touch him for longer periods of time until they reached the door of his bedroom. As he reached for the doorknob, she leaned in and pressed her lips against his. He hesitated for a moment, his mind going blank as she caressed his chest and pulled at his shirt. Pushing against her, he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her small body off of the ground as he kicked the door closed. Her tongue pushed past his lips quickly as he gave no defense against her.

Anna yanked his shirt over his head as he brought her to the bed, her hands instantly covering his bare skin. Moving up to the head of the bed, she lifted her shirt to give him a slow show before she threw it onto the floor. His eyes moved over her, her skin flawless and uninjured, completely different than that of his wife. She beckoned for his touch and new experiences, it thrilled him. Kahlan's face flashed through his mind, bringing back the last moments of passion he shared with her. There were things he would never be able to do with her.

Crawling onto his bed, he began to unlace his pants, his body suddenly craving all the comfort of the world. Kissing her stomach, he pushed at top of her pants in desperation. His instinct took over, his hands grabbing her breasts as his tongue rushing to the scar that should have been there. Pulling back, he shook his head and hurried away from her. How could he have gone this far? His body had been pressed against another who wasn't his wife and he had been eager for more.

"We can't," he said quietly, retying his pants.

Sitting forward, Anna reached out for him, taking hold of his arm. "We're just having a little fun, that's all. There's nothing wrong with-"

"I'm married," he replied. It was the first time he had mentioned it to her.

"She's not here," he offered. "She'll never know."

Meeting her eyes, Richard felt his heart threatening to pound its way out of his chest. "She'll know the moment she looks at me."

Rolling her eyes, the brunette pulled on his arm, bringing his hand to her breast once more. "Then you don't have to stop. You're not happy with her," she said with a smile. "If you were, you wouldn't have crawled onto me so easily. I can see it in your eyes, you want something she can't give you. You want a woman who can please you in ways you can't even imagine."

He pushed back onto the bed, connecting their lips once more as their bodies crashed against each other's. She moaned at once, rolling over him to keep him from pulling away again. Sitting up, she slid down onto him, scratching her long nails into his chest as he closed his eyes with a low grunt. Rocking her body against his, she let out a loud cry of pleasure, one he had never heard from his wife's lips. Sliding his hands over her sides, he reached up to her breasts and squeezed, looking for another sound from her lips. He was rewarded at once as she held them to her and quickened her pace.

Her moans became persistent and his hold on her tightened, his body handing onto a thin thread that kept him going. Leaning back, she grabbed his legs to steady herself as she gave in to her desire completely. Richard moaned at the change of position, the angle changing the pressure of their bodies. Unable to take any more, he pulled her against him and rolled them over, thrusting roughly as he fought images of his wife from his mind. Her smile filled his thoughts, the sound of her moans as he made love to her after months of being apart. The sound of his name leaving her lips in a soft pant as she climbed higher and higher echoed around him, bringing his eyes to open and look at the unfamiliar woman beneath him.

Anna bucked against him, her hands holding onto his hips to increase the force between them as she pushed her chest against his. She was panting between moans, her body beginning to shake beneath his as she began to reach her peak. Her cry of ecstasy filled the room, echoing off of the walls loudly as her body tightened its hold on his. He waited for his favorite part, her magic ripping through him, but it never came. Opening his eyes, he looked down at her in horror of what he had done. Throwing himself backward, he growled in release, his seed spilling out onto the bed as he stumbled away from her.

"Spirits what have I done?" he said breathlessly before falling onto the floor. Moving as quickly as he could, he began redressing himself, praying that Kahlan would forgive his foolishness. The other brunette laid grinning on his bed, ignoring his movement as she soaked in her own pleasure. Walking to the door, he turned back to her and sighed. "When you are ready, get dressed and see yourself out."

Moving as quickly as he could, he tried to calm his pounding heart, his actions making him sick with each step. She would never betray him, even after one of their fights. She was his constant, true and faithful, his to love forever and he had just destroyed everything that they had ever had. How would she ever be able to trust him again, to look at him the way she always had. He feared the loss of love in her eyes. Terror filled him at the thought of the look that would be there when he told her what he had done.

Turning the first corner after his room, he slowed at the angry look on his blonde friend's face. She knew what he had done. The moment he opened his mouth to give an excuse, she turned and walked away. If she wasn't willing to listen to him, how could he expect his wife to? Rushing after his friend, he walked along beside her, pretending that he had done nothing wrong. It was the only way he could continue on.

******

The usual week it would have taken for them to return to Aydindril had been shortened by the Seeker's need to see his wife. Three days had passed and he still felt Anna's skin against his and no matter how many times he grew sick, the taste of her never left his tongue. The event played over in his mind, seeing the difference with his time with Kahlan. Everything had been different from the feel of her skin to the taste of her lips. The sound of her moans to the way she held him; it was incomparable. He had made the biggest mistake of his life and he was never going to be able to undo it.

Walking through the gates of the Confessor's Palace, he was greeted by Kahlan's closest servant, terror in her, usually friendly, green eyes. "I was just sent to find you."

"What's wrong?" he asked as he jumped down from his horse.

Shaking her head, the woman motioned for him to follow her. "She hadn't said anything; none of us knew-"

"Knew what?" Before the woman could answer, they turned the corner to see the wizard leaving her room with a frown. Rushing to the door, he looked in and instantly fell to his knees in tears. Blood soaked towels and rags laid around on the floor and side of the bed, her servants rushing to clean it all. Kahlan was laying in the bed, her back facing the door and from the way the blankets were hugging her, he knew something terrible had taken place. "What happened?"

"I've given her something to help her rest," Zedd said quietly, keeping his eyes on his grandson. "I believe the child survived."

Looking up, he met his eyes in confusion. "Child?"

"Kahlan has been carrying your child for nearly five months, had she not told you?"

His mind rushed through every conversation they had over the past months, the few days he had actually spent time with her. Even if she wanted to tell him, he never gave her the opportunity. "No." For a moment, he wondered if the child was his. Maybe she had been with Ari and what he had done with Anna was nothing to be ashamed of. Bringing his eyes back to her, he tossed the thoughts from his mind, there could be no truth to it. She was the only person he could ever trust. "Zedd, what happened to her?"

"Almost four days ago, she collapsed in the middle of a meeting. I'm still unable to be sure of what took place. I've never seen anyone in such pain."

Coming to his feet, he slowly began walking toward her. "Is it all right if I stay alone with her?"

"She may not awaken for some time."

"I just want to sit with her," he lied.

He waited until they were alone before he walked around to the other side of the bed. She looked exhausted, she had heavy, dark circles under her eyes and there was a small amount of blood coming from her nose. As he continued to examine her, he noticed a large gash on the side of her head. When she had collapsed, she must have hit her head. Gently, he reached out and laid his hand gently against her cheek and blinked out a few tears. He had been with another woman while his wife and their daughter's life were in danger, betrayal at its deepest.

Her eyes fluttered opened and he pulled back, knowing that it was then that he would have to tell her. Staring at the dark blankets, he took a deep breath to prepare himself. "I've- Kahlan, I've done something terrible. When I left, I saw Anna and we talked- I took her back to the People's Palace and then I- I betrayed you. I was with her." All color drained from her face, her heart ceasing to beat as she watched his eyes continue to fill with tears. Parting her lips, she let out a cry and began moving backward, away from him. "Kahlan, please," he whispered as he reached for her. "I'm so sorry, I never meant to-"

She could no longer hear his words, her mind spinning in horror as she tried to get away from him. She pushed him away, trying to keep distance between them as she struggled to get air. Her cry grew louder and then, within an instant, she was on the floor. He grabbed her arms gently, trying to get her back onto the bed but she wouldn't allow him to. With each moment, she cried louder, the pain now almost too much to bear. Giving him a rough shove, she begged him to leave her alone, her words barely able to form through her cries.

Zedd rushed into the room as she began to crawl, desperately trying to get away from her husband. "Kahlan!" Grabbing his robes, she pulled herself against his legs and sobbed, begging him to protect her. He didn't understand what was happening, why she flinched when Richard touched her, tears in his own eyes as he asked her to forgive him. "Richard, perhaps it would be best if you left."

Keeping his eyes on her, he licked his lips and leaned forward. "Kahlan, I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you and I- It didn't mean anything to me."

Suddenly everything made sense to the wizard, but he remained quiet, waiting to see what happened next. Kahlan turned her head back to him and swallowed back her pain and anger. "Please..."

Quickly, he got to his feet and rushed out of their room, carrying another wave of her sobs with him.

******

"How could you do that to her?!" the wizard shouted, closing the door to one of the palace's spare rooms. "After everything you two have been through, you do this?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen, Zedd. One minute we were sitting in the tavern on the edge of the city, talking and the next I couldn't stop thinking about being with her." Richard was pacing the length of the room quickly, his mind on fire as he tried to explain. "I don't know when this started. I love Kahlan, I do, but Zedd I- How could I have done this to her?" Turning his grandfather he stopped walking and stared into his eyes, helplessly. "The entire time I was with Anna, I wanted Kahlan. I could see her face; hear her voice, but I didn't stop. I knew it was wrong, but I continued anyway. Why didn't I stop?" Walking to the wall, he slammed his fist into the light stone with all his strength.

The sound of bone cracking hit their ears but only one cared at all. Dropping to his knees, Richard started to hit the wall again, only to be stopped by the older man. "Come here, my boy. We'll fix this."

"No," he said breathlessly. "I should feel a small portion of the pain I've caused her."

It was in that moment, his gray eyes saw something in his grandson's that screamed out to him. "How often have you gone to the tavern?"

"I don't know. Cara and I stopped by on our way here a few months ago. I- I had never gone inside before, but now I go every-time I pass by."

The wizard sighed in sorrow. "Kimberly."

"How did you-"

"I need you to think, Richard. When you were there, how many drinks did you have?"

"I don't know," he whispered. "Five, maybe."

"And Anna?"

"I don't know, I wasn't focused on-"

"Think, Richard!"

"Two. Zedd what does that have to do with-"

"I saw Anna there months ago with your new friend Kimberly. I think this was planned."

Fury raged through the Seeker, setting him on a fire of hatred. "She said she had just arrived. She said she- Why would she want to- Spirits I... Zedd I've lost the only person I've ever loved."

"She still loves you, Richard."

"How could she? I was doing unspeakable things with another woman while my wife was fighting for not only her life, but that of our child. It doesn't matter why I did it, what matters is that I did. I betrayed her; I betrayed our love." Looking down to the floor, he focused his mind on the pain of his broken and bloody hand. "Before I left, she told me that she had wondered if the council had been right about Cara and I. I told her that there was only her and that I would never..."

"The night I returned, it had been the first time I had entered that tavern and I remember walking into our room so clearly. She was facing the door; I was afraid I had woken her. I looked around the room and I thought I was seeing it for the first time. I started to think about everything she was, the life she had and how different it was from mine." A small smile came to his lips as he continued to recount that night. "I wondered why she chose me. Sometimes when she sleeps, she has this smile on her face. This beautiful smile that makes you forget everything and I stood beside her, staring at that smile and I couldn't believe that she loved me."

"The seed of doubt had already begun to take plant."

"I don't understand."

Releasing a heavy sigh, the older man crossed his arms. "From what you have described, I believe you have been under the effects of an old elixir. It has been some time since I have heard of its use, but I do not believe there is another reason you would have done as you have. Kimberly would know it very well, she has been learning exceptionally fast." Coming to his feet, Zedd took a few steps to the door and paused. "There is a way we can be sure, but first I must know the truth." He took another moment to prepare himself for saying what needed to be said. "Did you complete with Anna?" Richard remained silent, ashamed of the truth. Turning back to his grandson, he held a firm frown. "There is no undoing what you have done."

The Seeker swallowed hard, the pain of his hand failing to compare to the pain in his heart. "I know, but I don't understand why Anna would do this to me."

"Because you only see the good in people. She is not the small girl you used to play with; she's dangerous."

As his grandfather moved to leave, Richard jumped to his feet. "I love Kahlan, Zedd."

Looking over his right shoulder, he nodded. "I know. Her magic had gone through you that day, there is no doubt in your heart of your love for her."


	5. Chapter 5

She hadn't spoken to him in three days, but he rarely left her side. Zedd had ordered her to remain in bed until he was sure the danger to herself and the child had passed, but she believed that it never would. She could feel her heart racing in anger, pain and a fury she had never known before. Each moment he spent beside her was agonizing, but she could do little more than cry. All energy and will had left her body the moment he told her what he had done and she saw no future where it returned. With everything they had been through, she never thought that this would be possible for their end.

Cara would enter occasionally, when it was time to eat and Richard would leave, knowing that his wife would do nothing as long as he was there. Sitting on the floor outside their bedroom, he prayed to the spirits that somehow she would forgive him. His mind raced over what he had done, the look in her eyes as he told her and he began to wonder if he should have. If she didn't know, she would be well, she would be taking better care of herself and their child and he wouldn't be sitting alone in the hallway. He wanted to hold her, to whisper in her ear as he had done so many times before and tell her how much he loved her. It had been so long since he had done so.

He remembered the week they had been married; the way they held each other so close it was impossible to see where one ended and the other began. She had smiled widely as he fumbled through the lacing of her corset, cursing softly for it keeping him from her for so long. They never stopped touching, their hands constantly needing to feel the other just to continue on. He missed it all; if he had destroyed their love, he was finished. There was nothing to him without her. He would have given up long ago; never have taken the Sword of Truth had it not been her who stood before him.

The more time passed, the harder it was for him to believe what he had done. Zedd had told him that the elixir should have taken every ounce of love he had for Kahlan away, but it hadn't, not entirely. The Seeker was terrified of that moment, constantly making himself remember every precious second he had shared with her to keep their love alive, even if it was only within himself. The Mord'Sith exited the room quietly, pulling him from his memories as she stepped around him with an empty food tray. Richard always made sure to see that she had eaten. Within an instant, he was back on his feet and walking back into the room.

Kahlan was sitting against the headboard of the bed with her knees close to her chest, staring down at the large, tan, mug that she held tightly in her hands. He nearly froze in place as she looked at him, he could still see the pain burning within and she gave no effort to hide it. Her eyes were still red and tears still collected, but didn't fall down the streaks left by those that came before. She tightened her hold on the tea mug to keep her mind focused on something else; the heat seeping into her was almost comforting. Dropping her eyes to the top blanket of their bed, she blinked back the tears and slowly shook her head.

He could see her working through something in her mind, but knew better than to speak. Each time he had opened his mouth before had caused her to meltdown and cry harder; he refused to hurt her anymore than he already had. Tilting her head slightly, she looked over at him and seemed to make up her mind.

"Why?" Her voice was so soft and filled with pain that it could barely travel to his ears.

His heart began to pound viciously as he licked his lips before replying. "I don't know."

Richard ducked instantly as her cup came flying toward him at full speed. "That's not good enough!" she shouted as she crawled to the edge of the bed and pulled him to her by the soft fabric of his blue shirt. "You don't know?! You made love to another woman!" The words made her sick, forcing her to swallow back the unpleasant taste in her mouth.

He saw the flare of anger in her eyes, this time there was nothing else to hide it with, she was using her pain to fuel it onward. Her hands were fire to his skin, the heat from the tea having remained. "I never wanted to hurt you," he whispered as she pulled him closer.

She dropped him to the floor as though she was done with him, her hands remaining in place as she closed her eyes to breathe. "Oh, that makes it all right! I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you, but I crawled into bed with another woman and-"

"Kahlan please, I-"

"You what?!" she snapped, opening her eyes and coldly meeting his. "You grew tired of me and decided that it would fun to move on to the next woman? I trusted you! I- I loved you!" The emphasis on the word was more than clear to him as he stared up at her from the cold and lonely floor. "I loved you... How could you-" Shaking her head, she tried to fight the tears, her mind imaging the things he could have done with his old friend. "If I wasn't enough for you, why didn't you let me go?"

"You're everything to me, Kahlan."

"No," she breathed out through a quiet whine. "I am the woman who waited for her husband to return because she thought he loved her. She was foolish."

"No, I am the fool." She looked back to him, the tone of his voice drawing her attention with his own pain. He was staring at the floor, his chest moving quickly as he struggled to find air and the courage to speak. "I- There is no excuse for what I have done; I know that, but I am sorry." Bringing his eyes to hers, he moved to his knees and rested his arms on the top of the bed before her. "I am so sorry, Kahlan. I know that I've made a mistake and I know that there is nothing I can say that would make this any easier on you. I never wanted to betray you and each second that I was with her, I- I couldn't stop thinking about you."

Wiping the fresh tears from her cheeks, she sat back on her legs. "Then why didn't you stop?"

"I tried; I did, but I..."

"What?" she asked quietly, her heart, at last, beginning to slow its pace.

He didn't want to answer her question, it would hurt her even more. "I stopped, but it was only for a few moments. It was wrong and I knew that, but I couldn't... I saw her there on my bed and I- I couldn't stop myself." Tearing his eyes away from her, he shook his head. "She said that I wasn't happy with you, she said the same thing you did and for a brief- I was determined to prove you both wrong. I saw your face, again and again. You were there and then I tried to- Your scar, I couldn't find it. She- Kahlan, she was incomparable to you. Her kiss, skin and her moans- Kahlan, I-"

Richard stood up and gave a heavy sigh. "I waited for your magic, I-" he licked his lips, brushing the fingers of his left hand through his hair as he began to pace. "I wanted it so badly. I needed it to breathe. I opened my eyes and I..." He turned to her and covered his face with his hands, hiding a short wave of tears, before looking into her eyes. "It wasn't you. I couldn't understand what I was doing and I- didn't know why I was laying on top of her. Kahlan, I never wanted to hurt you."

She looked to the door, half expecting someone to be there and tell her that it was all a dream. "You keep saying that."

"Because it's true."

"It can't be. If it was, you- If you didn't want to hurt me, you wouldn't have done it. You wouldn't have left me that way and jumped into bed with her." She was fighting her anger; the urge to scream at him again. "You- You betrayed me. You tried to convince me that there was nothing between you and Cara and- I walked into that next meeting with the council and like a fool I told them that they were wrong; you would never..." Her tears were back, along with her pounding heart at the images in her mind of him and Anna. "Was she what you desired?"

"I thought so."

Nodding, Kahlan blinked and released her tears. "Please go."

"No. I'm never leaving you again."

"This isn't your decision! You made love to another woman! How could you expect me to- I loved you!"

"What I did with Anna was not- I did not make love to her."

"If you had not, I would not be carrying your child."

Kahlan's heart stopped at the sound of the other woman's voice, the pain it caused her was almost overwhelming. Instantly, she rushed from the bed, running toward the other brunette in full force. His first instinct was to stop her, but he didn't want it to appear as though he was protecting the other woman. Pushing her against the wall, the Confessor held onto her small shoulders and leaned in close, making sure the other woman saw the anger in her eyes. "How dare you come here! This is our home!" Anna looked to Richard, hoping for him to step in and stop her. He didn't move. "Do not look at him!"

"You wouldn't hurt the woman who carried your husband's child?" Releasing the other woman, Kahlan took a step back and sucked in a large breath of much needed air. "Very good," Anna said quietly as she approached the Seeker with a sly smile. "We're going to have a child."

"No." It was all he could think of to say, shock and confusion taking all thought from his mind.

"You cannot expect to do the things we did and not produce a child. Though," she added softly, looking back to Kahlan, who stared at them. "it appears that not everyone receives the same amount of-"

"Shut up!" he shouted. Grabbing her shoulders, he lifted her from the ground and slammed her into the door, slamming it shut.

"I carry your child and you do this to me?"

"I will not have you spread your lies!"

Laying her hand on his shoulder, Kahlan pulled him back. "Richard, don't. She's pregnant." The words made her sick, making it almost impossible to say them.

"She's not pregnant but if she is, it's not mine." He turned around to face her, locking eyes to be sure she could see the truth in them. "She's not carrying my child Kahlan, she's lying."

"How can you be sure? Richard, you were with her; it's possible."

Shaking his head frantically, he tried to touch her face before she pulled away. "No, it's not. Kahlan if she is pregnant, I am not the father of the child. I never- I didn't empty myself within her." Kahlan found it nearly impossible to look at him, the hurt and anger building up so quickly, she thought she would explode. "The child is not mine. I know that I betrayed you; that you have no reason to trust me, but I did not- I pulled away."

Blinking through a heavy set of tears, she stepped away until her back was pressed against the wall on the far side of the room. "You two should go."

Rushing over, Richard reached out for her in desperation. "Kahlan, please-"

"Please," she whispered, closing her eyes. "just go."

"I will not leave you again. Kahlan, I love you."

Throwing out her arms, she pushed him away from her, knocking him onto the ground. "How can you say that? After everything you've done! I trusted you! I loved you!"

He looked up at her in sadness, understanding her words completely. "I do love you, Kahlan. I love you more than anything. When I was with her, I- It wasn't the way I have always been with you. I did not make love to her."

Dropping to her knees beside him, she slammed the fist of her right hand on his chest and cried. "I loved you!"

"I never made love to her, Kahlan."

"Your husband is telling the truth. He did not make love to me." She brought her eyes to darken blues of the woman kneeling on the floor in tears. It was heartbreaking to see. "The memories he has are false. He- His love for you was supposed to be taken from him, the elixir should have turned it into anger and-"

"What are you talking about?"

"You were supposed to be mine." Anna said quietly, looking to the Seeker. "I waited for you to come home; to pick up where we left of, but you never came back. I came here to find you and I saw you two together. It should have been me." Richard sat up and moved to his feet. "You were meant to be with me." He stepped closer, but remained several paces away, still not wanting to upset his wife. "You were never that happy with me, with anyone."

Kahlan, unsure as to what it was she was hearing, struggled to her feet and walked toward the other woman. "I don't understand."

"I met a woman at the tavern; she said that she could get me what I wanted. After his first drink, he would feel the urge to return; each time getting more of the elixir. It should have worked after the first three, but... His love for you was too strong. It took him four extra mugs before he- I thought it had taken effect, but once we reached his palace, he- It must have faded because I- I kissed him; I laid before him, naked and he kept saying your name." She pushed past Kahlan and stopped before him. "How could you still want her? You felt it working inside of you, but you still wanted to be with her." She smiled coldly for a moment. "But when I told you that you weren't happy, you were mine. Is that the way you kiss her? Do you always touch her like that? But then you realized who I was and you tried to leave. That was when I..." She looked back to Kahlan, who stared in confusion. "He was never inside of me."

"Anna, I-"

"No," she whispered. "I thought that if I made you believe that we had made love; that I carried your child, the elixir would work and you would want me. You stared up at me and nothing happened, but the moment I mention her name, your body responded. The sound of her name was all it took for you to be ready and I did the only thing I could." Reaching into her bag, she pulled out something the size of a nail and handed it to him. "I used this to make you think we had-"

"We never-?"

"No. If you open it, you will have your true memories back."

"Why are you doing this?" Kahlan asked quietly. She couldn't understand why the other woman was saying this, if she had kept quiet, she would have Richard back.

Anna blinked out a few tears and looked at the Confessor. "After everything I did to make him love me, he wanted you. He loves you so much that after I gave him those memories, he screamed out in horror because he had betrayed you. When he was with me, he wanted you and with each moment of realizing that it wasn't, it pained him more. When he left, I thought maybe it would just take time and once you found out, you wouldn't keep him and he would come back to me. But the look in his eyes when he last spoke to me, I couldn't... He doesn't love me and if I cared for him, I wouldn't try to take away the one thing that has ever made him happy."

Kahlan looked over to her husband, who stared down at the small cylinder that he clutched tightly in his hand. It was obvious to her that he had stopped listening some time ago and was now lost in his thoughts. If Anna was telling the truth, all of the memories inside his head were lies and the pain he felt and had caused could be undone. "You can go now, Anna," he said quietly, his eyes at last moving to hers. "And if I see you again, we will discuss this." She left quickly, not wanting him to have time to rethink his response. Closing their bedroom door, he brought his eyes to hers. "Was she telling the truth?"

She could hear the desperation in his voice and see the hope in his eyes. The memories inside his mind haunted him and for the first time in days, she didn't find it difficult to look at him. "Yes."

Relief washed over him, releasing a heavy sigh. "Thank the spirits," he whispered as he stepped backward and sat down upon the edge of their bed. Closing his eyes, he leaned forward and laid his head in his hands.

Walking slowly, she removed the small distance between them. Kneeling down before him, she gently pulled his hands away from his face. "Are you going to open it?"

"No," he sighed sadly, handing her the vial. "Kahlan, we don't know what's in here."

"The truth." Licking her lips, she gave him a warm, sad smile. "You didn't do anything wrong."

He stared at her, his eyes moving over her face, grateful to see her smile again. "If none of these memories are true, I still betrayed you."

"No you didn't, Richard and I- I should have known."

"What?" he asked confused. "Kahlan, no. How could you have known? I told you that I-"

"And I know you," she stated factually. "I should have known that there was something wrong."

Moving to his knees, he laid down the vial and cupped her face. "You looked into my eyes as I told you and you searched desperately for proof of my lie. You trusted me with instinct and I betrayed you."

Leaning forward, she lifted her nightgown and crawled onto his thighs as though nothing had ever changed between them. "You didn't betray me." Picking up the skinny vial, she smiled. "Open it; I'll still be here." Taking it into his hands, he slowly pulled out the brown stopper. It began to glow instantly, the liquid rising quickly from its prison to swirl around his head, changing into a light dust before falling upon him. "Are you all right?"

He blinked. "I think so. Kahlan, I'm sorry I hurt you."

She sighed in relief. "I know."

"Can I ask- Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"

"I don't know," she said quietly. "I didn't want to tell you while you were away and then when you returned, I... I was going to mention it, but I thought that maybe you'd notice."

Richard frowned. "I'm sorry that I didn't." Nodding, she licked her lips and leaned forward. Pressing her forehead against his, she tried to calm herself, but the tears kept flowing. Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her tightly. "Kahlan, what's wrong?"

"I was so afraid that we had lost you."

Brushing her hair back with his fingers, he pulled back to look at her. "Me too."

"I'm sorry I didn't know something was wrong."

Wiping her cheeks dry with his thumbs, he gave her a small smile in an attempt to comfort her. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Kahlan you- You had every reason and more to believe that I had betrayed you. I looked you in the eyes and told you what I had done and it was true."

"No it wasn't."

"We know that now... Kahlan, I thought about it over and over again and even now that I know that it's not real, I still feels like it is."

"What do you mean?"

"Both memories are here and they're not in my head alone. You're thinking about it and I- I see it there in your eyes and I want so badly to take it all back. You're looking at me and it feels like you're waiting for me to betray you again." He tightened his hold on her face for a moment, bringing her closer as he took in her exhaled breath. "I love you, Kahlan and I know that through the past few months, I have done nothing to show you that it's true, but I intend to make it up to you." The Seeker leaned back, seeming to be defeated by his own words when he sighed through a smile. "Do you remember the week we were married?"

"Of course," she whispered through a subtle smile.

"We'll have that again. Nothing will keep us apart and we will spend more time in here than we-"

Shaking her head, she lost her smile. "We have duties, Richard."

"You're right and as your husband, my duty is to you."

"You're more than my husband; we were lucky to have been given that week."

Richard raised an eyebrow, widening his smile. "That wasn't given to us. Kahlan, we laid in bed together for hours while someone knocked on our door and do you remember what you said?" She laughed softly, remembering the moment very well. "That week wasn't given to us, we took it and I know that the people need you; they need a leader, but we need each other too."

Her mind began to spin with thoughts she knew better than to say, but she was done holding things back from him. "I'm here; you're not." She knew the way it sounded instantly, but it was far too late to take it back. "I'm sorry," she breathed out before attempting to move away from him.

"No." His tone was harder than he realized as he held her against him. "You're right."

"No, I'm not." Bringing her eyes to his, she shrugged her shoulders and shook her head, the way she did when she could think of no other explanation. "This isn't your home Richard."

Smiling, he nodded, letting the fingers of his left hand wiggle deeper into her hair. "I may feel out of place in this palace, but when I'm with you, I am home." He knew what those words would do to her and he waited as she stared into his eyes. Shifting beneath her, he leaned back against the foot of the bed clutching her to his chest. "I'm home and I don't know what I would do without you."

He held her the way he used to, when they had first married and almost instantly, she felt her entire body relax against his. Closing her eyes, she focused on the pounding of his heart beneath her head and for what seemed like the first time in months, she fully smiled. Lifting her head, she shifted in his arms, pleased when he made it clear that he wouldn't let her go. "Are you all right?"

"Do you think you would have been able to forgive me?"

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"Kahlan, you- If she hadn't come here and given us the vial, would you have been able to-"

"I don't know," she interrupted softly, looking down at the floor beside them. She was grateful that he hadn't said her name, the ring of it still making her hand stand up. "I asked myself that question so many times, I thought I had driven myself mad." Bringing her eyes to his, she frowned. "I couldn't stop thinking about what happened in the meeting hall." His mind replayed the event as she moved above him. "It didn't make sense."

"What?"

"My magic went through you."

Her simple statement said it all. "You wondered how I could love you one moment and then betray you the next."

"That's why I should have known, Richard. If I had trusted you; thought about you instead of-"

"Instead of what? Kahlan, I looked into your eyes and told you the truth; your thoughts or trust in me would have changed nothing. I betrayed you, but it wasn't in my heart."

Fisting his shirt in her hands, she nodded. "What happened to your hand?"

"What?" he asked in confusion.

Smiling, she abandoned his clothing and took his right hand in hers, bringing it up between them. "Zedd's healed it recently."

Raising an eyebrow, he looked down at his hand. "How can you tell?"

"The small scar above your knuckles, it wasn't there before." Tracing the middle finger of her right hand over the lightened skin, she looked at him. "What happened?"

"I hit something... Hard."

Laughing softly, she shook her head. "Why?"

"I hurt you," he whispered, laying his hand over hers.

"And you wanted to be even?"

"No. No amount of pain would make us even." He watched the passionate darkness rise in her eyes; it thrilled him. She stared at him as though she was waiting for him to give her permission and it was something he could not give. "Kahlan, I-"

"It's all right," she whispered with a sad smile. "I understand."

"No Kahlan, it's not that- I don't understand how you can look at me like that."

"How-"

"Like you did when I woke you up that night."

She grinned and leaned forward, pushing her fingers into his hair to bring him closer. "Mmm... How should I-"

"I don't know," he whispered. His mind was spinning and he couldn't stop his body from calling for hers. Pulling back, she shifted her body above his, slowly moving against him as her hands slid to his chest. Pushing open the top of his shirt, she froze instantly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she lied, pulling her hands away.

Looking down his shirt, he sighed heavily and closed his eyes. "Kahlan, I-"

"I know." Her next actions surprised him completely, but he remained silent as she traced her fingers over the unfamiliar scratches on his chest.

Before either could form another thought, she leaned forward and flattened her tongue against his skin and slowly ran it over the fresh wounds. He let out a low moan, the feel of her tongue against his burning flesh was a refreshing comfort. Lifting his shirt, she began kissing his stomach and chest, her mind trying to remove all trace of the other woman. Pulling her away from his chest, he crashed his lips against hers and leaned forward. A soft moan left her lips as she pulled the shirt from his body, her hands instantly moving rapidly over his back and chest. This would be the start of their new beginning.


	6. Chapter 6

His head rested on her chest, his eyes closed as he listened to the soft beat of her heart as she combed her fingers through his hair. They laid naked on the side of the bed, a thin blanket laying over him as he used his body to cover hers. His arms were pressed against her side, making it feel as though they were closer; he could have it no other way. Turning his head slightly, he pressed his lips against her chest, needing to taste her skin once more before lifting his head completely.

"You're shaking."

"I'm fine," she whispered.

Her eyes were still closed and he knew her well enough to see that something was wrong. "Kahlan-"

"I'm a little tired. Sometimes I can barely keep my eyes open."

"Is that what happened before, when you were in the meeting?"

Opening her eyes, she looked into his concerned, brown eyes. "I don't know." Taking another blanket from their bed, he pulled it over her, doing his best to warm her. "I don't remember the meeting."

"Maybe Zedd should-"

"No," she sighed, running her left hand over his right arm. "I'm fine, really."

Richard nodded his head slowly, knowing from the look in her eyes that she had made up her mind. "All right, but if-"

"I'm fine Richard, I promise."

Laying down beside her, he pushed at the blanket to reveal her breasts. He found himself fascinated by their new size, making it impossible to keep his eyes, hands and lips off of them. Bringing his hand to her breast, he ran his index finger between the two globes and inched closer. The moan that escaped her was all he needed to push onward and return to his previous position above her. If their bodies parted for even a moment, it was too long. She was all he ever desired.

His lips covered her quickly, making full effort to provide as much pleasure as possible with each moment of contact. Her fingers wound into his hair, pulling and pushing his head to where she wanted it. She lifted her back from the ground, pushing her stomach into his lips as he continued moving over her. His hands raced over her, unable to remain in a single location for more than a few seconds as his desire to rediscover her overwhelmed him. The soft moans that left her lips drove him insane, thrilling him in a way only she could.

Pulling at his hair, she brought his face to hers and connected their lips. Rolling them over, she sat forward and looked down at him. Her hair draped her shoulders, covering the top of her breasts as Richard pushed his hands over her. He was ashamed that he hadn't noticed before, the changes in her body; the subtle bump of her belly was now unmistakable to him. Sitting forward, he pulled her chest against his and ran his hands down her back. Rocking gently, she moved her hands from his hair to his shoulders, using them to steady herself as she picked up her pace.

The rumble of her magic shook the floor beneath them, rattling the walls as her cry of pleasure filled his ears. His release followed her almost instantly, his body rarely able to continue once she had lost control. Pushing his face into the side of her neck, he breathed in her scent and found himself lost.

"Richard?"

He jumped instantly, opening his eyes to see hers filled with concern. "Mmm?"

"Are you all right?" His confusion brought a small smile to her lips as she moved her hands from his shoulders to his hands that were holding her waist so tightly, her skin was red.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, instantly pulling his hands away.

Grinning, she shook her head. "It's all right. You haven't done that in a while."

"Almost five months." He smiled widely, bringing his eyes to her stomach. "When we conceived our daughter."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything-"

"No," she said quickly. "It may not be something that should be answered." He stared at her in waiting, wanting her to be able to talk to him the way she used to. "When you told me what had happened, why- You told me after you found out I was pregnant. Why did you do then?"

Bringing his eyes to the floor, he shook his head and sighed. "Because I had to. You were there before me, laying in our bed and I was so afraid that I was going to lose you. Kahlan when I- When Zedd told me that you were pregnant, I almost didn't tell you. Then I thought 'How can I lie in bed with my wife after what I've done?'" Looking at her again, he brought his hands to her cheeks. "I told you then because you deserved to know the truth and it wouldn't make it any easier to wait."

Crawling off of him, Kahlan kissed his forehead and stood up. "Thank you."

"For what?"

Looking over her shoulder, she walked to the window and lifted her robe off of the chair beside it. "Telling me."

"You knew didn't you?" he asked as he moved to his feet.

Pulling the silk closed, she turned around to face him. "Yes, but I don't know who told me."

"I don't understand."

Looking down, she stepped carefully around the broken shards of the mug she had thrown earlier. "I had pulled out our Journey book, I was going to apologize for- When I opened it, someone was already writing. I thought it may be you, but I didn't recognize the handwriting." Opening the top drawer of her dresser, she pulled out the thick book and clutched it in both of her hands. "I didn't know what it was, but I couldn't stop looking at it." Walking back, she handed the book to him and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I didn't think that I believe it until I saw it in your eyes."

Opening the book, he flipped through the pages, searching for the one she spoke of. He knew the handwriting instantly and it made him sick. "Anna's." Looking up to her, he shook his head. "I don't know how she..." Ripping out the page, he crumbled it in his hand. "I'm sorry Kahlan." Standing, he walked to the fireplace and quickly kneeled down, starting the fire quickly. Tossing the thin paper into the flames, he watched it burn and prayed it would destroy some of his wife's pain. "I meant what I said Kahlan," he whispered as he looked over his shoulder to her. "I won't leave you again."

"You're Lord Rahl, your place is the People's Palace."

"No, it's with you. There is nothing I could do there, that I couldn't do here."

Grinning, she came to her feet. "You would need a place for your meetings; a large set of rooms for those to stay when they come to see you, it is a long way for them to travel."

"I hadn't thought of that."

"You should go back."

"I can't. I'm so afraid that I'm going to lose you and if I leave, I'm making it easier."

Resting her hands on his chest, she stepped in close. "Richard-"

"I don't want to miss anything. The lighter shade of blue your eyes are when you wake up, the feel of you in my arms and the birth of our daughter. I want to be here; I want to be home." She felt herself melt before him, the truth in his eyes captivating her. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled herself against his chest. "I won't leave you."

"I know."

The slur of her words captured his attention and instantly, he pulled back to look at her. "Are you all right?"

"Mmm," she responded softly, her eyes closed. "Tired..."

Lifting her from the floor, he carried her swiftly to their bed. Her body shook as he pulled the blankets over her, exhaustion taking its toll on her. Combing his fingers through her hair, he waited until he was sure she was all right before pulling away. After dressing himself, he began picking up the broken shards of her tea mug. He jumped at the knock at the door, instinctively looking to make sure his wife was all right. Opening the door, he was relieved to see his grandfather, who towered over him.

"How is she?"

"Better, but she's sleeping now," he said quietly, noticing the small tray in the wizard's hands. "What's this?"

"Have her drink this when she awakes; then eat the soup. It will help her get back on her feet."

"Zedd, about what happened with Anna. I know-"

Shaking his head, the older man took a step back and sighed. "Cara and I spoke with her before she departed; she told us everything."

Richard nodded slowly, grateful that they knew the truth, but saddened that it had been necessary. "Did she?"

"Cara didn't give her another option."

Closing the door quietly, he covered his mouth with his hand and looked up at him. "She doesn't think that I betrayed her, Zedd. I keep thinking about it and even now I- No matter what these memories tell me, I betrayed her."

"Yes, you did." It was a simple response; one that they both knew was the truth. "A betrayal of the mind is no different."

"I know and I wish that there was a way I could take it back, but there isn't. When I look at her, I expect to see that look in her eyes again. Before I thought that it would be a relief not to, but it's not. Zedd, she looks at me and all I can see is the love she has for me and I- I don't deserve it. I look at her and I remember what I nearly did, I can still taste Anna and every part of me wants it to end, but I don't know how to."

"There is no end to what has happened. She does not blame you; you should accept the grace she has shown you."

"I don't know if I can. I kissed her; made love to her and I still felt like every time I touched her, she should cry in agony."

Nodding in understanding, the wizard stepped closer to his grandson. "She has made her decision, Richard and I do not believe that she made it lightly."

"How could she?" he asked quickly. "What I did, she should never let me- How could she kiss me like I had done nothing wrong?"

"Did you ask her?"

"No." He met his friend's eyes and took in a deep breath. "I'm afraid of what she will say."

"It cannot be worse than your imagination. Is this not how you got here?" he asked knowingly. "Richard it is not I you need to speak to. Talk to your wife."

Releasing a soft sigh of defeat, he nodded. "You're right. I can't lose her, Zedd."

"I know."

Turning away, the Seeker brought his hand to the doorknob and licked his lips. "Something tells me that she already knows what I've been thinking."

"It doesn't hurt to say it out loud."

The older man's voice echoed in his ears as he walked into his bedroom and let his eyes fall upon her. She hadn't moved, but he knew it didn't mean she was still asleep. Picking up the tray Zedd had brought, he walked to the table beside the window and laid it down almost silently. Looking over his shoulder, he smiled. She was focused on him with a subtle smile tugging on her lips.

"Zedd brought you some tea and-"

"What's wrong?"

With a soft laugh, he pulled the chair to the side of the bed and sat down. If he did what he wanted and crawled into bed with her, they would do no talking. "Kahlan, I need to ask you something and I don't want you to answer right away. Please, just think about it for a while."

He could see the concern on her face as she sat forward. "What is it?"

"I betrayed you," he said simply and flatly. "I had the intention to be with another woman, but when I look at you; see into your eyes, I don't see it. Kahlan, I will never be able to forgive myself for what I did and I don't understand how you can. And that is me assuming that you have." Resting his elbows on his knees, he laid his head in the palms of his hands and rubbed his face. "How could you make love to me like that? Minutes after- We were together as though nothing had ever gone wrong between us and it terrifies me to think that it- I want to be with you more than anything and after you have thought about it, and of you decide that this is what you want; that we are what you want then I- I will gladly be here."

Tilting her head, she reached out for his hands and pulled them to her. "I do not need any time to think about it, Richard."

Standing, he took several steps backward; away from her. "Please," he said breathlessly. "I don't want you to wake up one day and hate me."

"Richard..." she stared quietly, before changing her mind. "All right, I will think about it."

"Thank you."


	7. Chapter 7

To make sure she had time to think clearly, he kept his distance and slept in one of the palaces spare rooms. It had only been one night, but the time apart killed him. His mind continuously replayed the past events, trying to make himself believe that it was going to be fine. Folding his arms behind his head, Richard stared up at the ceiling and began following the smooth carvings that went across the room. He was fascinated by the detail; though it was completely different than that of their room, he found it beautiful. The design of the palace always took his breath away and he was grateful to have the opportunity to experience it.

Closing his eyes, he shifted beneath the blankets, finding it difficult to remain still as his mind went to thoughts of his wife. He could still feel the warmth on his neck where her lips had been; feel the dampness of her tongue against the hollow of his throat. Rolling onto his stomach, he pushed his face into one of the pillows and let out a soft moan. What he wouldn't give to feel her against him once again. Growing more frustrated, he crawled out of bed and walked to the window. She was standing in the tree line, her white dress making her stand out as she looked up at him. From the smile on her face, he knew that she had been waiting for him to take a glimpse out of the window.

Pulling on his shirt, he rushed from the room, eager to hear her voice again. The palace was quiet, every step he made echoed loudly, but it failed to slow him down. When he finally escaped the walls, he took in a deep breath of the fresh air and quickened his pace. The instant he saw a piece of her dress, he slowed drastically in an attempt to make it appear as though he hadn't run the entire way. Pushing back his hair with his fingers, he licked his lips and stepped into her view.

Turning her head, she met his eyes and moved away from the thick, tree. "You weren't at breakfast."

"I wanted to make sure you had time to think." He stepped closer, doing his best not to touch her. "Did you?"

"What you asked me to think about is not simple," she said quietly.

"All right."

Grabbing his arm, she stopped him from leaving. "I said it wasn't simple, I didn't say I was unable to do it." Turning him to face her, she brought her hands to his chest and smoothed her palms over the fabric. "You look like you had as much sleep as I did."

"I didn't sleep much."

Nodding, she took a step back and lowered herself to the ground. "Me either." He hesitated for a moment before sitting down next to her. "You were right," she told him softly, looking at the grass around them. "It was something I should have thought about." She gave him a small smile, instantly easing his pounding heart and racing mind. "You did betray me, but not in the way you believe. You left, Richard and that hurts more than anything." Turning her attention to the smooth bark of the young red maple tree beside them, she took in a slow and almost silent breath. "I came back to our room that day," she whispered quietly. It sounded like it was a secret; that she was ashamed of her own words, but he said nothing. "I was going to apologize for..."

Returning her eyes to his, she leaned back. "You were already gone. My husband had left and I heard it from my handmaiden. You didn't betray me by thinking that you had been with her. You betrayed me when you left and took her home with you." Taking another breath, Kahlan closed her eyes for a brief moment. "Then you returned."

"Kahlan-"

"You chose to come back. Even after what you thought you had done, you came back. Knowing that it could destroy everything, you still came back and tried to fix it. All I could think about last night was that you came back." Her smile was warm and comforting, matching the wind that blew past them. "You chose to come back and what could be more important? You had the chance to leave; to be with Anna, but you came back."

"I came home," he said in a quiet, breathless whisper.

Coming to her knees, she moved toward him and removed every inch of space between them as she crawled onto his lap, a knee on either side of him. "The look in your eyes when you came back was the same one you had when we first left Hartland." Richard shifted his body beneath hers instantly, bringing his hands to her hips as she leaned forward. "You meant what you said about being home; it took me a while to see it."

Her face was half an inch from his; he was sharing her every breath. He couldn't get his mind to focus on anything other than the lines of her face, the scent of her skin and breath and the warmth that radiated between them. Slowly, he dragged his hands from her hips to her cheeks. She closed her eyes to his touch, enjoying the small motion of his love. There had been times before when words failed him and all he could do was touch her and in those moments, he knew she understood completely. When she opened her eyes, he lowered his hands to hers and squeezed them tightly in his; being his promise to be with her always.

Nodding, Kahlan smiled and pulled back. Keeping her eyes on his she took most of her weight of off her knees and lowered herself onto his legs, pushing down against him with a soft moan. Her desire for him was more than clear, but was laid out before him as she connected their lips roughly; kissing him the way he had her when they were in the Meeting Hall. They were alone in the trees at the back of the palace; no one would be along to stop them.

******The End******


End file.
